i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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