bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
