giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
