Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize