garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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