oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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