That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
