we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
