I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
