this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
