Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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