Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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