Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
His nipple licking is glorious
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