Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
