Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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