My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
