I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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