I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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