I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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