It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
