Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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