just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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