Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
