whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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