I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
