my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
