I wish I could teleport
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
