i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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