Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
a search helicopter?!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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