i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
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I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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