in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
