We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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