theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
