If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
