Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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