Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
