I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
