he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
