she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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