I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize