is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
