I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize