found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I will be naked everywhere
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
