she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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