he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
