She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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