She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
