I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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