Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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