He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
