He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
