I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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