i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
