I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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