That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
