i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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