There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
