Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
