She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
