His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
