do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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