sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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