the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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