she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
