...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
