Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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