we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
