He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
