They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Welp...herpes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
