The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
