LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
